it all comes down to weight

Yesterday, I'm counting the days before the coronation night. I will be approximately 2months and 1/2. super short time to lose weight. I'm frustrated since I'm still way behind the canvasing. My cousin called to remind me about the plane tickets. I remember that will also having a day stay at Boracay after the pageant. So I need to have a swimwear. I try on my old bikini that I have 3yrs ago but hell no! I was shock, Is this me? who is this person I'm looking at? my waist is bulging... my thighs are double the size of my bro's. my arms were like blown up.

As I remember, 3yrs ago I also battled this kind of depression. I was 145lbs at that time and asthmatic. I have been using inhalers and steroids, and I can even climb 3flights of stairs. My doctor then advised my and my parents to join recreational activities. I love dancing, maybe one of my dreams but I'm shy to go out on stage since i'm afraid to make mistake and bounce like ball there. My mom enrolled me to a 1yr gym membership and my trainer help me to met my goals in just 3months I have lost 10lbs and by the end of that year I weigh the lightest ever I had in my life which is 112lbs but then after that reality bites and stressed came in. study,study,study then after graduation... its work,work,work.

I found relieve in food. I dig in to ice cream when I feel sad. I grab a venti caramel frappe when I'm tired at work and Ube Zagu shake as my prize when I get to finish my work at time. and my dad is really a great cook, he always make my mouth water in his dishes so it hard to stay away from a good meal.

But I have to, I have to be healthy, not just because I wanna look good but because I wanted to do more. I wanted to travel the world. enjoys life and bathe on greatest beaches in the world (wearing, of course a 2pc swimsuit).

I hope in that 2 months 1/2 I could lose some more and continue it until I arrive in a desirable weight (that should be around 97lbs, for a 5inch woman like me-which means I have to lose a 38lbs) so goodluck to me....